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ONE MINUTE MELEE SEASON VII: Hikaru Jomon vs Ranma Saotome
Description 2 Fighters! No Research! 60 Seconds! Two Gender Bent fighters, one with a cane to whack, the other, cursed to be a girl come face to face, body vs Cane in a battle of Genderbending paradise. Which Gal in dispose will survive their opponent's nigh dangerous arsenals? Interlude 2 FIGHTERS! NO RESEARCH! 60 SECONDS! 1! MINUTE! MELEE!!! PRESS START! SELECT YOUR CHARACTER! (PLAYER ONE CHOOSES Hikaru Jomon.) (PLAYER TWO CHOOSES Ranma Saotome.) LET'S ROCK? Alrighty! / Uh, one sec... (Alrighty! selected.) Beginning As Ranma was rising to the ranks of his training against those who get in his way of being cursed time and time again, he spotted someone, a person who suspiciously looks like he's around Ranma's age, but is actually 13. He even had a cane that he doesn't seem to need, given he's not a cripple. That means he must be a fighter too! Ranma wanted to put his newfangled skills to the test. As he approached the boy, he simply wanted to say hello. The boy didn't say hello back. ???: What do you want, young lady...? Ranma: How did you know I have a female counterpart?! (Cues JINKI PROGRESSIVE 「風林火山」) ???: I watched you fight like a badass even as a woman. It shouldn't be surprising I can do the same. I challenge you... Ranma Saotome-san... Ranma then became confident in his skills. He was ready to make his folks proud. Ranma: Alright! I haven't fought someone in weeks! Yosh! Ikaze! ???: You can be mortifying sometimes... The Fight TRIUMPH OR DIE! FIGHT! 59.9-52.7: With a calm state, Ranma started the show by trying to use his opponent's Aura against him. Both did an uppercut, Ranma with his fist, and the boy with his cane. Shockingly, Ranma lost the wager, and his adversary went all out with his cane. As Ranma took the beating, he noticed something about the boy's face. He must be upset about something... Ranma had an idea... 51.6-38.5: Ranma tried Shishi Hokodan, and shot it at the boy. His serious demeanor must have some soft spot within, otherwise, why would he be in the line of fire? (Fart Sound.) Because the boy KNEW the attack would fail, incoherently even! This did not deter Ranma at all though, as he got up close, he swung many punches at the cane wielder, dealing massive damage, almost like Jotaro Kujo. But one frame was enough for the boy to stop the assault altogether. Ranma was mildly perplexed, yet peeved at his enemy's power 38.1-33.7: ???: If you're moves weren't so easily exploitable, you would've had the advantage by now... 33.4-32.9: Ranma: Come again?! 31.6-27.8: ???: If you had a family without even a mother to tend to you, and is a woman, you'd be angry too. It was revealed... He is actually a she... 26.6-12.9: This girl has a lot of determination to prove her point, Ranma thought, and as she was coming towards Ranma, he used Moko Takabisha... (Fart Sound) To no success either. Ranma couldn't keep his cool anymore, and became angry. He threw a mountain cracking fist only to have it repelled by the girl's cane. She then kicked Ranma out of the way, and swung her cane in a circular motion, sending Ranma Skyhigh... 12.8-10.3: Only to have Ranma kicked right in the gut, sending him flying towards a nearby mountain. Nearly all his bones were fractured in some way... 9.7-2.1: Such a woman had the advantage the entire fight. She ran at the mountain, ready to finish off the man cursed to have STDs, or whatever they're called... 5.7-5.1: Girl: THIS... She kept running... 3.5-2.8: Girl: IS... Ranma finally regained consciousness... ...Only to be finished off. 1.1-0.1: Girl: THE END! (JINKI PROGRESSIVE 「風林火山」 Ends.) K. Before the announcer can declare a full fledged K.O., The girl was smashing Ranma to a bloody pulp- K. With each gory smash... K. The more it seemed like the end of an interrupted Bowser Jr. vs Metal Sonic... K. She then grew weary of her insanity, but wasn't done yet. The 13 yr. old wanted a satisfying finish... Girl: GRAAAAAAAAAAH! Blood was splattered, and Ranma was Bodied... K.O.! (Cues Suzumiya Haruhi OST - Oi oi) The Girl was about to calm down until Sister Sissy got in the way, and tried to congratulate Hikaru. Sissy: Yahooooo! Hikaru Jomon has beaten her double! Everyone g- Then Hikaru gave Sissy a Swift strike at her ovaries with her cane. Hikaru: SHUT UP, YOU STUPID NUN! Sissy: Aw... That is, uh, quite mean of you to do that; you won. Aren't you going to celebrate? Hikaru: With you? Hell no. Also, is there a giant panda behind me? Sissy simply nodded. Hikaru fwapped her cane at his jewels. It hit so hard, the otherwise, voracious beast fainted in pain. Sissy: So, um... Are you going to celebrate at all? Hikaru easily laughed at such stupidity as she knew she won. Hikaru: You know, I hired a nun of my own to come and fight you. Her name I won't reveal, just that she has guns. Sissy was now in fear as despite having worse weapons, than a mere gunslinger. Sissy: Uh... I accept? Hikaru: First thought only. I'll see you carnally beaten to death when the time comes. Sayonara, Baka Yarou... Hikaru then left the area, with Sissy with a frozen face. Who is the Gun Toting Nun? Is she even ready to fight her? Only time will tell... (Suzumiya Haruhi OST - Oi oi Ends.) Results/Credits (Cues Power Instinct Matrimelee OST - Our Secrets) THIS MELEE's WINNER IS... HIKARU JOMON! Hikaru Jomon is from Gōketsuji Ichizoku Matsuri Senzo Kuyou, owned by ATLUS. Ranma Saotome is from Ranma 1/2, owned by Shogakukan. JINKI PROGRESSIVE 「風林火山」is from Pop'n Music, owned by KONAMI. Oi oi is from Haruhi Suzumiya, owned by DENGEKI BUNKO. Our Secrets is from POWER INSTINCT, owned by ATLUS. Sister Sissy will return next season... Category:What-If? One Minute Melees Category:'Battle of the Genders' themed One Minute Melees Category:'Girls Only' themed One Minute Melees Category:'Anime/Manga vs Video Games' themed One Minute Melees Category:Fighters who hide their Gender Category:Fighters with a unique ability Category:Completed What-If? One Minute Melees Category:BMHKain